Every Thanksgiving, you can never figure out what to bring to Thanksgiving.  Grandma’s secret-recipe Green Bean Casserole?  A can of jelled cranberry sauce?  There is an answer that almost everyone can agree on:  BEER.  While the rumor of the pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock because they ran out of beer may not be true, don’t let that happen to you and your family this year.  Below is a prepared list of Funky Picnic beers that is promised to be a hit at your Thanksgiving get-together, no matter what food is being served.

THE TRADITIONAL, Oven Roasted Turkey:  The traditional Thanksgiving turkey is a very good crowd-pleaser.  There are no outlandish bold flavors, and most stuffing is pretty tame, even if you throw in the random handful of raisins here and there.  The beer you will want to pair here should have those same attributes.  An English Bitter isn’t going to overpower the turkey, and the earthy character of the British hops will complement the vegetable-laden stuffing, while the caramel malt character will exhibit similar notes in the crispy turkey skin.  Recommendation:  Funny Accent, Extra Special Bitter (ESB).

THE DANGEROUS, Deep Fried Turkey:  If you feel like getting frisky in the backyard with a deep fryer and your (thawed) Thanksgiving bird, maybe finish cooking before having a beer.  With deep frying, the Maillard process is going to cook things through a bit more than your oven-roasted bird.  Because of this, the meat will have an even more roasted and caramelized flavor to it, so a beer with more flavor will be needed.  American Pale Ales have the same caramel-like base as their English brethren but will carry that extra flavor of Pacific Northwest hops to contrast that additional flavor.  Recommendation: No Shirt, No Shoes, Wet Cats, American Pale Ale.

THE CROSS-CULTURAL, Chorizo Stuffed Turkey:  If your family likes to spice things up a bit, some Latin American traditions include adding fiery chorizo to their stuffing or even rolled up as a chorizo-turkey roulade.  Chorizo by itself is spicy smoked pork sausage, so it will need something with a similarly intense flavor to balance it out.  But you will still need to have those caramelized complementary flavors to the bird itself, Step in the Rauchbier.  This smoked dark lager will reflect the smoky sausage, and the darker roasted malts will complement the roasted turkey with enough flavor to not get lost behind all of those spices.  Recommendation:  Banjo! Banjo! Banjoooo!!!!, Rauchbier.

THE VEGETARIAN, Squash/Gourd Dishes: If you’re pardoning the turkey this year, you may steer towards the other symbol of fall foods: the gourd.  Whether it’s Pumpkin Soup, Roasted Acorn Squash, or Stuffed Butternut Squash, you will need a less intense beer that still has some roast character to it.  Altbiers have that dark roasted and dark malt character without too many other dominant flavors that will nicely complement whatever gourd you decide on this year.  Recommendation:  Y’alltbier, Altbier.

THE PORKER, Ham:  Ham can be a little bit more on the saltier side compared to turkey, so a beer with a little residual sweetness will be a good way to counteract it.  While not actually sweet, the soft fruit-forward Hefeweizen with lingering notes of banana, vanilla, and clove, is perfect with ham, especially if it is baked with whole cloves or smothered in a citrus glaze.  Recommendation: It’s Called Lovebus, Hefeweizen.

THE DECADENT, Dessert: With dessert, you hopefully have a lot of decisions to make here.  If you’re going after a traditional dessert that is a little less sweet, like Pumpkin Pie, Sweet Potato Pie, or even Cheesecake, then you are going to want a beer with more sweetness to ita sweeter Milk Stout. This would also work with Pecan Pie, not because it isn’t sweet, but because the pecans in the pie exhibit a similar roasted flavor.  Recommendation: Virtuous or Two Peanut Butters One Cup, Milk Stouts.  But if you’re really eyeing Grandma’s Apple Pie or another sweet and tart fruit-based dessert, a fairly tart beer (especially with fruit) will cut back that brown sugar sweetness and allow those green apples to really explode with flavor.  Recommendation: Boy’s Tears, Boysenberry Gose.

So before you head over to your family’s or friends’ homes for Thanksgiving dinner, make sure you swing by Funky Picnic and grab some beer-to-go.  And don’t forget the sweatpants for after the food!